学 Learn (2)

那晚大家热情的探讨了华人和文化的话题,有点是引起了我的兴趣,就是身教。
身教就是做为父母长辈必须以身作则来让孩子从中学习,这应该是大家都懂的。有一点倒是挺新鲜的,就是"我们太过专注于如何教了,但是忘了自己也要学习"。
We have a good discussion about the chinese and chinese culture that night and there is one point trigger my interest i.e. teaching by using yourself as an example.
I believe all of us already knew what this is, it means as a parent we should make ourselves as good example to let our children learn from it. And something fresh to me is "We are too focus on how to teach, but forget we ourselves should learn as well"

我回去细细想了一番,从自己努力学习的当中,其实就是对孩子一种最好的身教了。一个不喜欢读书的父母,如何以身作则让孩子喜欢读书;一个不喜欢学习的父母,又如何以身作则让孩子喜欢学习?比如当你努力教了孩子功课之后,却总是把其余时间花在看戏,你认为这个孩子会喜欢功课还是喜欢看戏?可能孩子记戏中的人物还比ABC流利吧。然我们却时常苦恼为何孩子总是没兴趣学习。
I was thinking thoroughly after the discussion, while I am learning hard actually is a very good example for children. If parent don't like to study, how to make an example to make the children fall in love with books. If parent never like to learn, how to make an example to make our children love to learn? It's normally that we will see parents use all spare time to watch TV dramas even though they are very serious when teaching the kids. Do you think the children love the learning or the TV dramas? They must be wondering how come my parent so love about the TV dramas. But we still worry and complaint our children no interest to learn without looking back what we have actually did.  

其实真的如我所想这样吗?我自己的童年又如何呢?小时候,我记得我喜欢拿哥哥的书来读,因为会好奇为何哥哥要读这本书。但是如果哥哥们都是把书乱丢,我还会去拿这些书来读吗?所以我也会拿父亲的书来读,会想要去看到底父亲好好收藏的书有什么好读。(小孩子时会拿长辈做榜样。)读着读着就慢慢看出了趣味,也乐于把书好好收藏。
所以啊,到现在我自己家中都没有电视而书本却是随手可得(当然也有小孩的玩具啦)。我在想那天孩子可以自动自发去拿书来读,我就会很欣慰了。
Is my thoughts correct? how about my own childhood? I remembered I like to read the books from my elder brothers and father, I curious about what they actually read. If they are those kind of simply throw the book away, do you think i will still have such curiosity? Slowly I found my joy within and love to keep my books nicely as what my father did.
That's why my home doesn't have any TV but books are everywhere (of course there are toys around). I am thinking if there is one day my kids took initiative to read the book, I will be very pleased.

所以那晚过后我就想,自己必须做到"活到老,学到老"和"发愤忘食,乐以忘忧,不知老之将至"。希望也好,奢望也好,孩子会去好奇为何父母会这样乐于学习呢?慢慢地培养了自己的学习心。
After that night, I told myself by old chinese advise - "One is never too old to learn" and "Learning till forget to eat, forget trouble and never know you are getting older". Maybe is a fat hope, I wish children will curious why parent have so much joy to learn and indirectly bringing them up.


今天进家门之前,我就心想要花心思好好教一下MZ读书。结果我的MZ表现不错(虽然还是有吵闹要跟大人出去玩和吃糖果),可能也是我的心有转变了而孩子可能也感觉到父亲有点不同。之前都是一直头痛MZ的牛脾气,打骂肯定是行不通了(而且还助长她的火气)。仔细想想是不是因为父亲或长辈打骂时的脾气,变成了她的榜样。把自己放在她的立场,什么样的人是会让自己提不起劲来发脾气和吵闹的?什么样的人是会让自己提起劲去学习的?我想这就是关键了。
Today I told myself must spend a good time to teach my MZ before reach home and it turned out a good result for me (although she still harassing of going out and candy). I wonder it is because I change my heart and she actually feel it. Her hot temper is always my headache, scold and hit can never solve the problem (even make her worse). Think carefully... Could this because we set an bad example for her learn previously? Put myself into her shoes, what kind of person will turn down my hot temper? what kind of person will encourage my initiative to learn? I believe this is the KEY!

2 comments:

LION GIRL said...

Jeff, such serious topic today.
To me, everyone has an inborn talent. All we have to do is notice what that child or person like and encourage him or her to focus on it. This will encourage the child to pursue learning more of the said interest.
It is okay for a kid not to like to read. Bear in mind, those who are top in the school ends up working hard for people while the average or street wise or looking forward people are the ones making it big in life!
As long as the kid stay above average in school, understands and respects people, culture and religion and has a positive outlook in life; I say, you are already a fantastic parent!
Let life take the natural course; stay close and loving to the family, everything else will fall in place.
I always believe in karma, cause and reaction, and law of attraction when it comes to "expectation" in life.
We are always happier if we do not expect.
I believe, nurture without condition will make you and your children happier.
Sorry lah for this long winded comment...

由子 said...

以身作则是很重要的。对小孩是必须爱心加耐心,如何在爱与训当中找到平衡点,“不过不失“的确是一门学问。时刻的自我要求和思考,就是成功的一半。P/S 将图书馆定位每周必到的游乐场,天天陪读;有字没字的。。。都让她们接触,上小学后,她们自然而然就会自动自发,这是我的心得。我天天看戏玩电脑,也不会影响她们,哈哈哈!

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